my meditation miracle

Only recently did I start taking meditation seriously. I’m not sure why I thought it was the hardest thing ever, when only three weeks in, I’m already noticing massive changes in my life.

Here’s what happened after only five consecutive days of meditation including a crazy little story about divine timing.

For far too long, I’d been ignoring the signs. Everyone told me to meditate but I never listened, simply pretending like I knew what everyone was talking about while hyping up the benefits of meditation to people I knew, too. I knew meditation would change my life, but I refused to actually sit with myself. Why?

Because I knew the course of my life wasn’t sustainable for the woman I’m trying to become, and change is a scary thing when you’ve become comfortable in your cushy lifestyle. Comfortable is easy… but all the great things happen on the other side of fear and I’m learning that there’s nothing to fear about the future, but rather just the projection I put into it. There really shouldn’t be any expectations for the future, but conscious, small movements towards my goals.

People are often scared of meditation because they don’t believe they can sit still for ten minutes. For me, it was to be alone with just myself and my thoughts (or lack thereof?) without distractions, focusing solely on me.

My dearest friend Riley showed me an app called Insight Timer and I immediately loved it. First of all, it’s (mostly) free and is easy to use. Browse through thousands of meditations and courses, from guided, timed, beginners, and more. It keeps track of your minutes and consecutive days meditated.

After downloading the app, I clicked on courses and selected a beginner’s course called Learn How To Meditate In Seven Days, pictured above.

I’m not going to make claims that I’m a meditation master in seven days but I did have a crazy breakthrough and something spiritual came out of it, so I figured I’d share.

Day one begins and the meditation is already set for ten minutes. Ten minutes? At first I thought that was high but it’s actually never long enough. The teacher, Sarah Blondin, is a wonderful and well-respected meditation master. Days one through four were getting used to taking the time out of my day to get to know myself and learning how to properly meditate.

Day five was when the breakthroughs began to happen for me. During the session, Sarah guides listeners through facing emotions. As I sat down to start, the sun was shining in my bedroom for golden hour, casting a deep yellow glow onto my bedroom wall. I sat against it, face in the sun, and clicked play.

We begin by doing focused breathwork and then journey inside ourselves. Sarah encourages us to truly feel our hidden emotions by recalling a time when we felt anxious or stressed out. By naming and describing our feelings, we are able to sit with them and recognize them for what they are. I was having mild anxiety while this was happening. My heart started beating faster, I got the chills, my back started to ache, and for the first time, I realized that some of these effects such as feeling chilly all the time are actually because of anxiety, and they aren’t necessarily normal.

After we self-induce an anxiety attack, Sarah guides us through shifting that emotion into one with a higher vibration. She tells us to think of a time in our lives where we felt infinite love. Without thinking at all, my mind suddenly conjured up a memory from my early childhood. I must have been around five years old and I was playing with small plastic animal figurines in my grandma and grandpa’s sunroom in their condo in my hometown. My entire family was there; Mom, Dad, brothers. We were about to have dinner, and that’s when I felt unconditional love in my life, surrounded by the people in that room.

It’s funny that I have so many different memories I could have chosen, but this was where my mind went. I was so moved by it that I started crying during the meditation, and by trying to keep my eyes closed to hold onto the memory, I cried harder. It’s not the easiest meditation practice but I found I benefited greatly from it.

After the meditation I felt so moved that I had to write about it, and as I recalled my experience I thought of my grandparents, who have long passed. I looked out my bedroom window and saw a bright light coming out of the rain clouds. Jumping up to get a closer look, I grabbed my phone, took a picture, and after zooming in a little bit… I mean, you cannot tell me this isn’t a heart.

Returning to my bed, I looked up at the sky again to get another glimpse but it was gone. A perfect reminder that divine timing exists and that you are always exactly where you need to be, when you need to be. When you become present, you are rewarded with incredible little moments like this.

Anyways, I wanted to do another meditation before bed so I went on Insight Timer and scrolled through guided lessons. I stumbled across one called You Are Love, and this was the photo for it:

Synchronicities such as these are not to be ignored, so I did the meditation and I can highly recommend. It was quite moving and I woke up today feeling better about the direction in which I’m headed in this life, although still uncertain among the chaos of the pandemic.

Everything is falling into place these days according to a greater plan for me. The books I read have been directly correlating to one another and to my life, the films I’ve been watching have messages through the character’s lessons that leave me feeling stronger, and the seemingly random people who have been coming into my life via DMs or friend requests are all for a higher purpose.

Everything is connected, and through meditation, I’m truly learning we are all one.